Just a few months ago God dealt with me ever so sternly when he revealed that there was unforgiveness in my heart. Loving the Lord as I do, I never would have imagined that this could happen, but in fact, it had. As I laid on my face sobbing my heart out because the magnitude of my sin (seeing it from God's perspective) was so great, I literally felt that "I would never recover my relationship with God" ever again. I saw the ugliness in my heart as clear as anything I've ever seen before. I now know to some extent what it means when the scriptures say "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Lord." I believe my pain was not from a human perspective because I probably would have found a way to justify my heart. I believe that the Holy Spirit was shining God's light bright and clear on that area of my soul and what I saw, devastated me. The reason it devastated me was one reason alone, my relationship with God is the one thing I treasure beyond anything else. To see my condition through His eyes, was more than I could bear. I saw evil for what it is, evil! I recognized deception for what it is, a lie! When I got up from that floor, I felt undone like the Prophet Isaiah! The worst part was that I could not begin to imagine how I was "ever going to be able to forgive!"
But God's power is beyond anything we could ever imagine. To this day I do not know how it happened, but I do know without a shadow of a doubt that "He alone caused me to forgive in a supernatural manner like only He can do." Several situations arose where my heart was going to be tested and I found myself responding with a light heart. At first I didn't know what was happening, but as time went on, I began to understand that God had cleansed my heart in all that remorse that I had experienced in His presence. I did nothing to bring this cleansing about, except "be honest with myself and with God as to what I saw in my heart", and even that honesty came about only by the power of His Holy Spirit.
What has transpired since that experience has been awesome! I find myself loving the Word and searching His Word with a fire that I didn't have before. He has been giving me revelation after revelation, insight after insight and thus, this Blog!
Prayer has always been a gift from God in my life and He never took that away from me, and although He had always been gracious to me, I can only express that "I feel light as a feather", I feel FREE! I am now looking for more purging of my soul as revelation has come that we ALL have things in our soul that God needs to clean out in order that His glory can be revealed. We cannot push down issues far enough or deep enough that they just go away. I guess that's what I was doing prior to this experience. I am deeply thankful "that he dealt with me". His Word says that he chastens whom He loves. Well I am certain more than ever before that He loves me. He loved me enough not to let me keep on fooling myself and not to let the Devil keep deceiving me. That's a lot of love if you ask me! And do I love Him, you bet, more than ever before and He was already the love of my life before this purging.
Friends, our mind, our will and our emotions constitute our soul! Imagine what might be found there when you consider we once walked this earth without the Spirit of God? Imagine what might be found there when you consider what many of us, if not all of us, have gone through in this life!
I hope this stirs you up! I pray that you would desire to let God take an "In Your Face" look at your soul!
This is not about condemnation, this is about "liberation".
Already God has had me share this very personal testimony with people from my church as well as people from the other church where we meet. This is part of what the Lord is doing, He is preparing His Bride! Praise God that He loves us so much that he corrects us.
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